Story and Credits under cut
So this post isn’t a made-up story, like I usually like to do.
I moved into the city in June. My best friend told me that he needed a room mate and I made the snap decision to move out of my old place. I was miserable there. The people living there were horrible, the house was horrible, and I hated it. Since my grandmother passed away in November a year and a half ago, I’d been staying with Ned most of the time. I love being there, but it was time to find a place where I could live- where I could feel safe and happy.
I’ve dreamed of living in Toronto since I was very young. My parents had a friend named Cathy who lived in the city on her own, in this chiq high rise apartment. Everything was so pretty and clean, and the city lights glittered like jewels in the night, across the vista seen from her balcony. I wanted that. I grew up in a small town, about an hour and a half outside of Toronto. Welcome to Mooseport was filmed there… and the movie makes it look way bigger than it is. As a kid, I never really dreamed of my wedding. I dreamed of my downtown Toronto apartment.
So we looked for something. Somewhere to live. He’d just gone through a breakup so moving was a bit of a mess. He had to move in to my unused (but still paid for) room while we searched. Finally, we found a place. It was perfect. Well. As close to perfect as we could afford. 12 foot ceilings with big arched windows. A full kitchen (admittedly sans washer). Utilities included.
Sure there are still problems. The bathroom is down the hall and shared with the other apartment on our floor. The guy that moved in upstairs is a Grade A douchebag, and he plays his music so loudly that I feel like I’m being tortured sometimes, and catch myself wistfully thinking about him tripping down a few stairs. The neighbourhood’s alright, but it’s not great. There aren’t really any GREAT neighbourhoods right downtown, though. People scare me. I’m a hot anxious mess, but I’m acclimatizing.
But then there are the good parts. Cheaper, faster internet. 24/7 food places within a 5 minute walk. All my closest friends are within a short walk or TTC/GO train away. It’s kinda scary, but it’s a good-scary. I feel like my life is advancing. Like I’m closer to where I want to be. There are studios and galleries here. Maybe, eventually, I’ll get up the stones to go show someone my work.
I’m watching Ugly Betty right now, and she said something about how if you want to get anywhere you’ve got to leap and be ready to fall flat on your face, because one time you might land on your feet. It’s good advice, but I’ve landed on my face too many times, and I bruise too easily. Far easier than most… but that’s a thing that I’m working on. I’ve been taking medication and getting help for Anxiety Disorder and depression for a year now. It’s still hard, but I have a lot more support here, in the city, than I did before. I don’t feel like I’m sinking anymore. It’s a start.
The rest of my life is starting, and it’s pretty exciting. I just hope I remember that.
[PF] Glossy Pout Lipstick <Bright Red>
Cheap Makeup Lashes (Lise) #2
-tb- Indie Liner Style 1
!lamb. Blue Monday (Mesh) – Blush
*BOOM* Twenty-Three Tee Toronto
lassitude & ennui Lion’s paw torque bracelet
lassitude & ennui Lion’s paw torque necklace
Ricielli Mesh – Highwaisted Leather Pants /striped (TDR)
[ni.Ju] 030913 single nose ring/monochrome
[PF] Harley <Peach> – Arcade 08
IKON Eternal Eyes – Ice
aDORKable Poses: Shopping Spree 4